The 8-Point Buttshot Vehicle

I received a free car to replace my wrecked car. It’s so incredibly horrendous that I love it. There are eight key points that make it so monstrously awful.

1) It’s a pickup truck.
2) It’s hideous.
3 and 4) A former owner let his son use it. His son dealt drugs. Not wanting to enable this lifestyle, the father took the truck away from the son. As the father drove off, the son shot the truck with a shotgun. The truck bears the mark of the buckshot, and is thus called “buttshot”.
5) A former owner’s employee who drove the truck went grocery shopping. A package of beef fell between the seat and the back of the cab. This sat and developed incredible stench over several days in the sun. It’s a stinky truck. (Made less stinky through much, much effort)
6) It has no back windshield! Rather, it has 1/4 inch thick heavily frosted plexiglass pieced together where a back windshield should exist.
7) Did I mention it’s a pickup truck?
8) The gearshift is an eight-ball.

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