As I’m now two weeks past the point of being able to remember enough about the bits and pieces of the trip to recount them sufficiently, I resort to photos and tweets. I hardly photographed the journey on day two, save for a shot or two of the Mississippi… but here are a few from the latter days of the trip. On the second day of the journey I travelled to Wheaton, IL., where on the third morning I rummaged through Dorothy Sayers’ original, handwritten manuscript of Gaudy Night at the Wade Center . I spent most of the third day avoiding vicious tornadoes by driving north of the storms before cutting south to stop in Columbus, OH. The fourth day took me east through the tippiest-toppiest-tip of West Virginia. I dipped into historic Wheeling briefly to drive around as I have distant family there and wanted to see the area. Further east through Pennsylvania, and then south through Maryland to land in Alexandria. Once in Virginia I went straight to the house of the room that I was scheduled to rent only to be told — after a half hour of horrible conversation — that she had rented the room to someone else the previous morning. I spent the fourth night asleep in a rest area in North Virginia. The sleep was surprisingly comfortable considering my car was too stuffed to lean back my seat. I like camping when I’m not at risk of bugs. I rented  another room the next morning.

Click the map for a zoomed view of my route!

Does this malformed tree not look like a baby Slitheen?

I’ve decided that Katherine is not allowed to come to Bolivia. This is a significant change in plans, since Katherine is scheduled to arrive in Bolivia on Friday and she intends to stay through August.

Here’s the problem.

I will lose the Katherine Card.

The Katherine Card works all manner of magic. Observe:

Convincing Teenage Sister to Accept Medicine

Lorien: “Staton, you have to take this medicine.“
Staton: “Um, no. It does nothing for me.“
Lorien: “It doesn’t matter if you think it does nothing for your symptoms, because it’ll stop you from being contagious.“
Staton: “So?“
Lorien: “Katherine will be here Friday. If we get her sick, her first two Bolivian Weeks will be miserable.“
Staton: “Oh. Okay. Can I have the pills?”

Convincing Eleven Year Old Brother to Bathe

Lorien: “David, take a bath.“
David: “Nope.“
Lorien: “You stink.“
David: “Yup!“
Lorien: “No, seriously, you smell really bad.“
David: “[snicker] Yeah, I know!“
Lorien: “Katherine will be here in three days! You don’t want her to smell you like this.“
David: “Oh. Yeah.“
Lorien: “You’ll need to bathe more than once a month, you know.“
David: “True. Like, every day. Oh man, I need to go do my laundry, too!“
Lorien: “Um, okay, yeah, definitely.“
David: “GOTTA RUN, I SMELL BAD.”

Admittedly, the Katherine Card is less effective on the elder of the younger siblings, Thomas and Nicholas. They’re very much, “eh, whatever, I’m doing my own oh-so-cool-and-suave thing.” I suspect this will change when they stumble out of their rooms, like any other grumpy early morning, and realize, “POPE’S POOP! THERE’S A GIRL IN THE HOUSE. WE HAVE TO BE NICE!“

On second thought, Katherine should still come to Bolivia. That reaction will be worth the loss of the Katherine Card.

Update! Jeff McMorrough made his own version of the Katherine Card:

Yes, Lorien, do look at your assignment when it is first assigned, else you’ll be shocked to discover it’s a several hour project, and you’d like to go to sleep.

—

Once again I am virtually mocking you. You’re starting to sound like Katherine now… Dear Katherine, Here are the things you must do before you go to bed tonight.

Posted by Kristin @ 09/09/2004 11:26 AM CST

Interestingly, Lorien has long had you fooled. Whilst I have assisted in K-List Mockage, I have secretly conducted such notes to self for many a year.

I just knew better than to leave my notes on random tables.

Posted by Lor @ 09/09/2004 06:04 PM CST

I always suspected that you were bluffing.

Posted by Kristin @ 09/10/2004 09:05 AM CST