The Katherine Card

I’ve decided that Katherine is not allowed to come to Bolivia. This is a sig­nif­i­cant change in plans, since Katherine is sched­uled to arrive in Bolivia on Friday and she intends to stay through August.

Here’s the problem.

I will lose the Katherine Card.

The Katherine Card works all man­ner of magic. Observe:

Convincing Teenage Sister to Accept Medicine

Lorien: “Staton, you have to take this med­i­cine.“
Staton: “Um, no. It does noth­ing for me.“
Lorien: “It doesn’t mat­ter if you think it does noth­ing for your symp­toms, because it’ll stop you from being con­ta­gious.“
Staton: “So?“
Lorien: “Katherine will be here Friday. If we get her sick, her first two Bolivian Weeks will be mis­er­able.“
Staton: “Oh. Okay. Can I have the pills?”

Convincing Eleven Year Old Brother to Bathe

Lorien: “David, take a bath.“
David: “Nope.“
Lorien: “You stink.“
David: “Yup!“
Lorien: “No, seri­ously, you smell really bad.“
David: “[snicker] Yeah, I know!“
Lorien: “Katherine will be here in three days! You don’t want her to smell you like this.“
David: “Oh. Yeah.“
Lorien: “You’ll need to bathe more than once a month, you know.“
David: “True. Like, every day. Oh man, I need to go do my laun­dry, too!“
Lorien: “Um, okay, yeah, def­i­nitely.“
David: “GOTTA RUN, I SMELL BAD.”

Admittedly, the Katherine Card is less effec­tive on the elder of the younger sib­lings, Thomas and Nicholas. They’re very much, “eh, what­ever, I’m doing my own oh-so-cool-and-suave thing.” I sus­pect this will change when they stum­ble out of their rooms, like any other grumpy early morn­ing, and real­ize, “POPE’S POOP! THERE’S A GIRL IN THE HOUSE. WE HAVE TO BE NICE!“

On sec­ond thought, Katherine should still come to Bolivia. That reac­tion will be worth the loss of the Katherine Card.

Update! Jeff McMorrough made his own ver­sion of the Katherine Card: