I have now been to each of my fall classes. I have also found my library spot: a corner table surrounded by windows on the second floor, facing one of the few pretty buildings and an array of trees, with the fountain visible behind me. If I leave after my history course on T/R and go to the library to study, I can hear the 12:30 tower bell music.
I have decided that it’s time to choose who I’m going to be. I am not brilliant, I am not particularly pretty, my wit does not sparkle and when I sing I am only passable. I have willfully held myself in limbo. This much-abbreviated list of things in which I am one or two steps above mediocrity is entirely flexible. I have the capacity to be brilliant, and so on. Therefore, it’s time to become so. I’ve long since decided to pursue a doctorate. Somewhere in the past while I’ve had a sneaking desire to run off to Oxford or somesuch. My studies are not prepared for this level of diligence. Conclusions made, I must become a scholar. I already love to know – now I must love to learn.