Compulsive Completion

Joanna describes her completist tendencies as a compulsion. I’ve never considered it that. I do it too, but out of a love for immersion, not because of my OCD. I’ll catch a song or hear a name, and I’ll run home top open Kazaa(or equivalent) and download every complete and properly file-named song I can find. I did this for David Gray, years ago and before he hit the US, Damien Rice months ago after a TV appearance, Cursive just the other night because of Joanna’s endless praise. I’ll read an essay, an excerpt, a novel, and run to the libraries to check-out the entire collection.

I don’t think of this as obsessive compulsive behavior, not truly. Okay, maybe a little, from an objective view. But the spirit of it isn’t in that standard train of “eep, those pictures are not symmetrical, nor are they uneven enough to be properly asymmetrical! must! fix!” Rather, I want to be immersed in the words and sounds of whatever the Topic is. This provides a clear, almost sanitary environment for my decision. Or, sometimes I’ll just love something and want more more more.

I do this for crafts, too, by the way. or political theories. or, everything.

I’m backtracking now to say that I recognize that classic OCD trait of wanting to control my environment. I still don’t think that this is something I want to rid myself of. If nothing else, I end up with a number of curious specialties.

I wonder if this process of completist immersion is a scholarly trait. That desire to learn/experience/get more more more until all is had and processed and taken up into ourselves.

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