Fatal Flaw

I have a fatal flaw: a life­long fear of being an imposition.

If I am with some­one, I am likely wor­ried that I am impos­ing. I gen­er­ally do not accept halfway invites — rather, I pre­tend that I did not hear them as invites. This way, peo­ple have to be a lit­tle more decisive.

I am per­fectly capa­ble of mak­ing these deci­sions myself, and would pre­fer to… except I just don’t feel com­fort­able with the fatal flaw. Sometimes I do take up the halfway invites and force through a few deci­sions here and there. This results in addi­tional worries.

I’m not cer­tain how to com­bat this. Continual pur­sual of one of my larger goals — con­tin­ued con­fi­dence and reliance in my excel­lent intu­ition — will aid this. I do sus­pect, how­ever, that this is a life­long trial.

So, right. If I am sound­ing stand­off­ish, it’s because I am not cer­tain of myself. I almost always have a pref­er­ence one way or the other. I have no qualms about say­ing no. Thus, if I do not say no but instead let things pass, more likely than not? I would pre­fer to say yes.

The prob­lem! Is! that too many peo­ple do not say yes when they really mean yes, and even more often, they do not say no when they really mean no. Which is just a dis­as­ter for us empathics and intu­itives that hear your words and hear your emotions/tidal waves and sense a very def­i­nite gap. It is far too easy to get lost in the gul­ly­wash of stim­uli and stall out there in the breach.

can I throw a few more metaphors into the mix?